If I Were a Poker Bot

Just Fantasizing Here...

I am an online poker player. A real one, not a robot. It’s a hobby of mine. I try to make a little money by playing for a few hours in the evenings after work. I like to think of it as kind of a part-time income source. However the reality is I am doing well just to break even for the month and keep my account balance in tact.


Part of my problem is discipline and emotional stability. Now, I like to think that I am a sharpie and am in complete control at all times. I like to think that I understand the ups and downs of gambling and that nothing rattles me. However the truth is that more than one mouse of mine has met it’s fate hitting my wall at about 60 miles per hour after an opponent made a miracle draw on the river to beat me.

I can’t do anything about those miracle draws. But I can play at stakes that are appropriate for my bankroll so that I can absorb them without stress. The thing I need to avoid is getting upset about them. In other words, play like a robot. A robot just keeps making the right play and never goes on tilt.

Online pokerbots do exist and they are getting better. I need to play like one of these. If I were a poker bot I would not get upset when the guy calling me down with bottom pair makes trips on the river to beat me. If I needed to buy more chips after a ridiculous bad beat then it would be done automatically and I would simply wait for good opportunities to take my opponent’s stack.

If I were a poker bot I would always be cognizant of how many players are at the table in addition to how many opponents are still in the current pot (something I must admit that I am guilty of sometimes losing track of myself). I would have a specific set of rules depending on my position and the action on the current betting round for what move to make based on the strength of my hand and the actions of my opponents. So I wouldn’t make mistakes in strategy.

If I were a poker bot I would never click the wrong button. I wouldn’t get distracted by the television and would never misread the board. But I wouldn’t play predictably either. I would vary my actions by random elements such as the color of my cards. I wouldn’t go crazy trying to bluff all the time but I would certainly bluff when the spot and the timing stood a good chance of success. I would check-raise in early position sometimes, and slow-play monster hands on the flop often.

If I were a poker bot I would play tournaments, SNG’s, and cash games equally well but with a different strategy and specific set of rules for each. I would be much more aggressive preflop in short-handed situations than when the table was full. I would pay strict attention to my stack size and use it in making critical all-in decisions. When conditions at the table change I would automatically switch to a different strategy. I would always be open to trying new strategies which are devised for specific game environments.

In other words, if I were a poker bot I would be the Shanky Technologies Holdem Bot. Life would be good!